Oh BABY! | 21 Adoption is a loving decision and a way to be in control of your baby’s future. You’re not giving up – you’re giving your child life. No doubt this is one of the most important deci- sions you will ever have to make. You are making a decision for yourself, while also making a positive life decision for your baby and for a waiting adoptive couple. This decision does not come easy. You will experience highs and lows…and some feelings you never knew existed. It is important to have someone to speak to and to counsel you about this very important decision. By choosing adoption, a woman is allowed a second chance at receiving her educa- tion, beginning or continuing her career, or even getting mar- ried among other things -- all the while ensuring that her child will be raised by loving parents. For most women, knowing that their child is safe and happy is the biggest benefit of all. Advantages for the Birth Parent include: • The birth mother has reduced uncertainty and fear of the placement. • A birth mother receives a sense of comfort knowing that the child is being well-cared for by the family that she chose. • She can see how much the family loves the child through the pictures and letters that she receives. • It helps to reduce the mourning process for the birth mother as she can deal with her grief of releasing the child knowing that he or she is happy, healthy, and loved. • The birth mother is afforded a sense of control in the process by being able to choose the family. • She will feel less guilt about her release because of the updates she receives. • She will see all the opportunities the adoptive family is able to provide for the child. Advantages for the Adoptive Family: • A birth mother is more likely to proceed with the adop- tion plan when she is able to meet the family and get to know them. • Meeting the birth mother helps reduce any fear that the family might have about the placement. • The family is able to know the birth mother’s intentions and understand her thoughts and feelings. • The family will have the child’s medical history. • The family can confidently answer the child’s questions about from where he or she came. • The family can feel some affirmation at being chosen by the birth mother. • The roles of all involved are clearly defined. Advantages for the Adopted Child: Children need the sense of identity that comes from under- standing their biological roots. The child has access to infor- mation about his or her birth family through the agency. Information provided to the adoptive family can help answer questions like, “Where did I come from”? The child will not feel the necessity to “search” for birth par- ents as he or she grows older. The child will be less likely to feel abandoned. The child can better understand the reasons his or her birth parents chose adoption. Children thrive when they are able to experience firsthand the love of the parents who are raising them – and the love of the parents who chose adoption for them. Adoption